It’s not surprising that I survived the worst trip ever. What is shocking is that I became a travel writer after the worst trip ever rather than running howling into my home, never to emerge again, except for necessities such as M&Ms, Cherry Garcia yogurt and the occasional Chick-Fil-A sandwich.
While details of the many lovely trips I’ve had since may have become a little fuzzy and are remembered through a sunscreened, Margarita-induced haze, every moment of this trip is etched in painful pinpricks in my brain.
For the sake of space and my ever-doubtful hold on sanity, I won’t share all those details. I’ll just relive it in an abbreviated way, how I would have told it if we’d had text messages back then.
Day 1: Island gorgeous, food awesome. Catherine 8 2 much at buffet, threw up massively in various shades of pink in back seat.
Day 3: Lft island paradise. Car died, needs transmission. Stuck at Bates-like hotel, playing dot-to-dot with cigarette burns on bedspread.
Day 4: Rent car, headed to St. Augustine. Life better.
Day 5: Hurricane headed here. Only one at pool w/o tattoo.
Day 6: Wind, rain, shoddily constructed windows seem on breaking point. Highlight c-food dinner where hubby and I fight over ownership of hush puppies. Waitress brings more, ignores table rest of night. Kids tell me they used my toothbrush to kill bug five days ago.
Day 7: Back to Brunswick. Car not ready as promised. Decide to go to Savannah for the night. Run into family we know at outlets in Darien, explain homeless situation. They give us $1 for a Coke. Stop at KMart and daughter runs from bathroom screaming because there’s a kid with blood gushing out of nose. Check into hotel for night. 17 guys with coolers of beer check in next door.
Day 8: Husband heads back to Brunswick to get car, leaves me with two kids. Have to check out at noon. Elevator broken, so I take 2 kids, 7 suitcases down three flights of stairs. Seriously consider that husband will not return. Would not blame him.
Husband returns. Daughter says, “I will kiss the ground when we get home.” Amen, sister.
Do you have a worst trip ever? Share it with us! I’m still gathering people’s worst travel moments so if you have one, please tell me about it.
Jan, this is hilarious! Brings back memories of traveling with our kids when they were little. Why is it that travel disasters happen most often with small children in tow?
I’m glad you have kept on traveling and writing!